Doggerel
Preamble
The Club has undertaken many demonstrations throughout its long history. The lead up to demos can be quite painful depending on the number of neurone cells each participant is carrying at the time. Owing to people not always being able to attend each practice there is a fine balance between the team leader taring his/her hair out or throttling whoever is nearby.
This is particularly so when numbers are assigned to each person for various part of the demo so that when the number is called a certain action – hopefully with the dog in tow- will take place.
Never mind, “it always seems to come together on the day”
(PS many of the members referred to in this ditty have left the Club; not I might add due to demo practice. Marion is Marion Mann whose name appears on one of the Club trophies)
PRH
Demo Practice
Another demo chief instructor declares
So stop sipping coffee and eating éclairs
Dogs are to be fit, taught, tight and trim
And as for the handlers, to be full of vim.
Says the boss, “I want square sits, drops and recalls
And if it’s done right then you won’t need your balls”.
Good golly! Good gosh! Now I’ve really caused strain
Perhaps I should go back and rewrite this refrain.
“Come on you lot”, says the boss of the team
I want some precision, “fat chance” I scream
“This bunch can’t remember the numbers they had
At last week’s practice – it’s all rather sad”.
Sue McK for instance said she was 8 at the time
“you were you dork but today you are 9”
Now when we do the inverted U
You’ll change your number to that of 2.
Patricia, ‘nice gal’ often waxes lyrical
About dogs and other things so satirical
It’s her little habit of getting away
From the dreaded ritual of the practice day
A call – “Earth to Mars” is heard often enough
Oh Marion, would you answer and do your stuff?
Yes you the one on the left of Jill,
Could you find a way of staying on the pill?
Now for the music that must be uplifting and strong
Roy suggests a Scottish reel or Olympian song
But no alas not for these dreaded dragoons
A few marches by Souza is the best that looms
And now the long practised demos are over
They were good, just a few snags, due only to rover
But next year more demos are planned for the Club
They won’t find me I’ll be down at he pub!
PRH alias “Ralph”
December 2000